I want you inside

I am sick of this frustrated familiar friction.
My senses already know how to stand on end,
anticipating the throbbing stiffness rubbing
exactly where I want it
through too many layers of cloth
only to begin the ascent, the peak of pleasure, but
it never comes.
I never come.
I have never come in my life
(save for once maybe, amongst the trees).
What is this taunting temptation?
I give myself to love,
I enter head-first, heart-first, unafraid.
Eager and ready.
You beautiful boys are torturing me.
You love me, lavish me
leave me.
Unsatisfied, unfulfilled.
A shouting mouth with no voice.
A searching bird with no nesting spot.
A lost child alone in the corner, curled into itself.

I am waiting for
no one and nothing.
I see the look of ecstasy on your face
You are done now, complete--
(it is never my turn)
time to pack up and move on. But
I want you inside me.

I want you inside my life.